The Fiction of Eva Problems

if there's no link, that probably means i'm working on getting it into shape for neocities. in the meantime, all of these are available on AO3 unless specified otherwise.

MANY OF THESE PIECES ARE ADULT IN NATURE

they'll be clearly marked as such. if you're under 18, please don't read them or tell me you've read them.

TREATISE ON THE PEREGRINE PHOENIX

Book 1 (2020-2021)

A tale from the Caves of Qud with a generous seasoning of Touhou. Mokou is an indestructible immortal out for something like revenge. Agate Severance Star is a living legend who can't let her die. Together, using their senses, knowledge, taste, and fantastic cooking skills, they must cross Qud for a fated reunion while relearning the costs of eternity and legendary status.

Book 2 (2021-2023)

ADULT CONTENT. IN PROGRESS. Agate and Mokou have made it to Kitchen Heptagon, a city dedicated to the advancement of Qud's cuisine. The knowledge held by its resident Carbide Chefs will prove invaluable to Mokou's further travels, while Agate must reckon with the weight of her own promises and theories. The city's labors, people, and shared bounty make it a good place to start a new life. There is shelter here against the dangers lurking in the wilds, and in dreams. So what keeps the two of them from belonging?

Book 3 (2023-ongoing)

series written 2020-ongoing. remember how Agate Severance Star made the jump to canon? well, i made her run into Fujiwara no Mokou of the Touhou Project shooting games for windows. they're going on a road trip. this is my current project, and i rank it as the best stuff i've ever written. no knowledge of Qud or Touhou is necessary to enjoy, but if you do know about either or both of them then it acts as a force multiplier.

Wounds of Structure, Wounds of Distance

The Three Sages, then and now. A series of glimpses at the political and personal decisions that broke their relationship. An exploration of the emotional consequences of Wild and Horned Hermit. Heartbreak and lies, forgiveness and resentment, and long, long centuries.

written 2020 for a good friend. it's juicy even if you don't know your touhou deep lore, but if you want maximum enjoyment then uhhh. go ahead and at least read Wild and Horned Hermit first, but then pause right before the epilogue chapter. then maybe play through Hidden Star in Four Seasons, then read Grimoire of Usami, then if you're still feeling frisky then read some key profiles in Perfect Memento in Strict Sense and then you will probably be equipped with enough of the 3 Sages deep lore. then once you read this fic you can go and read the epilogue chapter of WaHH and marvel that kasen just ghosts reimu for an entire year in canon after all that shit went down.

CARBIDE CHEF

series written 2017-2020. what if a chimeric water baron renounced her factional alliegance, gathered chefs of great power to her side, and unknowingly resurrected the format of Iron Chef Japan as a competitive bloodsport in the far-future land of Qud? well, it would be full of lesbians. the first entry, Eyeless King Crab Battle (2017), has a delightfully complex intertwinement with the development history of Caves of Qud. in brief: the challenger, Agate Severance Star, is a member of then-fan Caelyn Sandell's then-fan-species, the Hindren (skittish but sturdy deer-taurs). i wrote and published the Crab Battle in advance anticipation of the cooking & gathering overhaul. dev Jason Grinblat dm'd me on twitter before the update dropped to ask if it was cool if they named the ultimate skill in the cooking & gathering tree "Carbide Chef" to which i obviously said yes. then they hired Caelyn to put the Hindren into the game, and while she was at it, she went and wrote an in-game book authored by Agate Severance Star, launching her headlong into canonicity. none of the other entries have reached that heady apex of becoming canon, but i still love each of them.

conveniently, i drafted each entry in one big twine document, so it's just all right there.

Scale and Artifice

ADULT CONTENT. After the events of WBaWC, Keiki Haniyasushin approaches Yachie Kicchou with an intriguing proposition: she will make her a physical body. A story about rivalry, bodies, violence to liberate, and unionizing the afterlife.

written 2019. saki is a centaur. mayumi gets a tank girlfriend. yachie gets bigger. if i had played a yakuza game before writing this then it would probably be about the same but there would be at least 3 more sentences scattered throughout the fic drawing attention to yachie's snakeskin cowboy boots.

Mystic Superposition Apotheosis

ADULT CONTENT. It's stage 6 of Subterranean Animism. Marisa is dedicated to getting the good end. That's when things take a turn for the divine.

written 2019. my first Touhou fic, inspired by a few key lines from the various routes through Subterranean Animism. the second chapter looks like it's dropping breadcrumbs towards another chapter about the extra stage but let me tell you something: i don't particularly care for or about koishi enough to put in that effort. the fact that this one leaves off with the gals vowing to build an onsen at the hakurei shrine (as several of SA's endings seem to imply they will) informs scenes in both Scale and Artifice and Wounds of Structure, Wounds of Distance, because reimu deserves to live right next to an onsen.

Sleep Mode

Weary Paw Mara's first visit to the Six-Day Stilt. Written for the Caves of Qud Discord Build Club, week 10

written 2019. a short and sweet drabble featuring Weary Paw Mara, four-armed photosynthetic tigertaur warden and the canonical protagonist of Caves of Qud. she also shows up in An Opal in the Monochrome, chapter 3 (Madpole Battle) of Carbide Chef, and she's definitely out there in the world in Treatise on the Peregrine Phoenix. the mechanical circumstance described in this fic (chromelings spawning in "sleep mode" in the wild) was patched out literally the night before i first released this one to the public/qud discord. i love when my qud fics serve as development snapshots.

METROIDxVANIA

ADULT CONTENT. What happens when the most accomplished bounty hunter in the galaxy picks up the most accomplished vampire hunter in history? Well, they're both trans lesbians, so it'll probably involve kissing.

part 1 written 2014, parts 2-3 written 2017. spiritual sequel to YOUR ASSHOLE DAD'S CASTLE IS BACK AGAIN. part 1 was originally published on books in the library of a long-gone private minecraft server, then on weasyl. contains creative uses of the Form of Wolf and the Grapple Beam upgrade.

An Opal in the Monochrome

ADULT CONTENT. Weary Paw Mara has been tasked to ferry a blueprint to the heart of the Rainbow Wood. But before she leaves the safety of Grit Gate for this latest perilous task, she finds she must confess her feelings to star tinker Q Girl.

written 2017. i banged this one out while i was waiting for my AO3 invite to go through. it's a delight. i believe sparafucile's brief moment of silent characterization (written because at the time of qud's development, he had no dialogue yet) went on to influence his eventual in-game dialogue (he communicates exclusively through sign). if you've ever seen a hawaiian ginger plant, you'll never look at them the same way. but also, if you've ever seen a hawaiian ginger plant, i don't see how it's possible to not see them that way in the first place.